Thursday, February 21, 2008

The road & the retrospection.

Now what exactly should i be doing on a wonderful Friday afternoon ?

anything but busting my balls working on some assignment in work , thinking about career , about future , somehow it strikes as being odd , as being in a unnatural state of mind .

Is 25 the age to introspect , or am i becoming " mature " & old ?

I mean it hits you slow and goes in a flow , all the good times had and the bad ones too , and you try to evaluate yourself , use a parameter for reference .

I feel, people are better off taking risks in their lives , which means they will have more uncertainty & experience and that in-turn is what makes him /her a better person , experiences at least must not be conditioned to fit a pattern , shouldn't it be more impromptu in nature .

Humanity as we know it is nothing but a collection of experiences , we document the " experience " , of course in the process we dilute it a lot , just like the average " Doodhwala " the quantity of dilution depend upon ones motivation and reason and ignorance .

Then isn't all that we learn a retrospection first & then a introspection , of the past facts & events ? if so does the ability of human cognition change ?

We still define our lives , or success our achievements based on a parameter that society sets of us , wherein all these parameter's are based on false ego , contempt and arrogance .

isn't the primary act defiance one can ever do is to break away from all this , be un-bound , sometimes when i look at this huge mass of humanity packed like sardines in a can , live their life in a city , i am but one of these sardines .

Sometimes i ask myself do i really want to break free , i mean is it just a fad when i mean , oh i want to stay away from all these ? do i really have to balls to do that ?
or is it like temporary insanity , i break free from all this , but i calculate the number of days , i chart out my plan i map my route , is that breaking free ?
looks more to me like im giving myself a parole .!


With these thoughts in my mind , i sip the last swig of Rum , drag hard on the joint and throttle up, the road isn't asking any questions & i needn't answer any.