Porque sin tí, he de estar incompleto.

Fall shall you not, rise up and look above,
Every suffering, every pain have you borne.

See the world is calling out to you,
Love it and it shall love you as much back.

For the high and mighty have been destroyed,
In lust, in laugh and even in love.

Smile at it, for you had laughed so wide,
Accept the pain, as you did joy.

For it actually had brought you both,
Now what you get is not what you want.

Only silence shall help you bear,
Each and every moment of this now.

I bid thee farewell to you my friend,
From here on you are on your own.

Hasta que nos encontremos otra vez, mi amor, mi alma.
Porque sin tí, he de estar incompleto.
Y esperando por ti, i puede permanecer incompleta.

Saar, only one person right?

Another sleazy motel, grayed out walls and musky smell amplifying the decay around.
As i walked the dark hallways one room after the other imagining the countless people walking before me i felt a sense of lifelessness around.

Saar, only one person right?
Yes, only me.
No, problem sir, good room, clean room, decent for family saar,
I hope this hotel won’t be raided for prostitution, was indifferent at this point.
No Saar, only family here.

A guy and girl, pretty young couple walks by.
i know instantaneously that these are college kids, paying a price for privacy to get intimate.

Unable to sort out the feeling of right and wrong, between tradition, culture and between freedom and wants, and thus clandestine meeting of a few hours these lovers share, so sad, what has become of this country of love, is it ancient history , a moment of liberation which created Vaatsayana ..?

Pick her up, drive to some unknown town, get a motel room, fuck each others brains out and ride back after this liaison.
The lock was a bit jittery, like me sinking into a motel alone, strangely i settled in the unkempt motel with inept staff.




As i light a cigarette, i think ...
How many women, prostitutes, men have toiled on this bed, trying to satisfy their hunger, hunger of being wanted, of being loved, liked, licked, sucked and fucked.
Any of these or many of these, who will they imagine? Which face shall play on their minds? But we don’t notice, the hunger is far too primal, lets say too damn carnal.
The walls could almost moan back all that it had heard in that moment.
I stand in the shower, to get over the sweltering heat, pouring water on my head calmed down a few thoughts.

Lovage plays in the background, and I sit still.
Not moving an inch, just sitting in a motel, in middle of a highway, in the middle of nowhere.

Was i to apologies to life? am i to apologies to myself..?

No i shall not apologies to anyone, but maybe i shall to her and all her forms that have touched me.
I apologies, for loving you not knowing if you could ever understand me, the conflicts that i grew up with my past , my present, my future, and you are a part of all three.

I apologies for dreaming that love would make you madly run into my arms forgetting the world, for I forgot we all are running away from it, I am trying not to.
I apologies for hurting your feelings and letting you be alone, just for a few moments in this long journey called a lifetime, I do.
But now, it’s over, no more apologies to none.

I look up and clenching my fists in my mind, and biting my lips, i shan’t apologies to even god.

And the music plays on my laptop, on a dark desert highway ....
Guess, i am, in Hotel California.